by Daryl Hoole

It is a fact that mothers with additional careers just cannot get it all done at home.  There are too many demands; it is too big a job; almost no one has the time, strength, and energy to deal with everything that needs attention.

In order for you super busy women, whether married or single, to accomplish what matters most, it becomes necessary that some “selected neglect” be practiced. For instance, when there has to be a choice, it is better to pick up and spot clean throughout the entire house than to deep clean one room.  Or, it could be a better use of time to purchase or prepare a simple dessert and thereby save time and energy for family night. 

Most importantly, for the sake of your family you need to become more people oriented and less task oriented. Therefore, being good at prioritizing will serve you and your family well. 

Employing organizational and efficiency techniques can greatly facilitate your efforts.  In addition to the general home management principles as well as suggestions for inviting the cooperation and help of family members available on this website, following are some specific tips for your situation:  

Take advantage of the benefits  of list-making.

• Put the pressure of your workload on paper, rather than on your mind. In other words, make a list of all that needs to be done. It helps to see your duties in black and white.

In this way, you see a beginning and an end to your work. Just putting something on the list is a step toward getting it done.

Then prioritize the list according to importance and categorize it according to what you can do and what others can do. On especially discouraging days, you might write down things you did that weren’t even on the list—such as carrying out the trash—just for the reward of crossing something off.  It’s therapeutic to do so, and it gives you solid evidence that you are productive.

The list helps you direct your efforts and focus on whatever is at hand. The list doesn’t change all that needs to be done, but writing it out can help you feel more in control of the situation.

Prepare in advance to help things run smoothly.  A little twist of a proverb applies: “An ounce of evening is worth a pound of morning.”  Take time before going to bed to prepare for tomorrow.  For example:

• Lay out clothing
• Put up lunches
• Gather school supplies and load backpacks
• Unload the dishwasher, leaving it ready for a quick reloading after breakfast
• Put a load of laundry in the washer before retiring for the night (or start the laundry first thing in the morning). Switch the load to the dryer. The clothes will be ready to fold upon your return home.

Use efficiency in meal planning to assure nourishing meals and minimum preparation time.

• Save time by arranging group dinner preparations. It can be easier and quicker to prepare a large amount of one type of food than to prepare small amounts of several types. Get together with two neighbors and each prepare three dinners a week. Then share with each other. In this way dinner arrives at each door, ready to be served, two nights a week.
• Specialize in crock-pot cookery. A slow cooker is an indispensable item for every busy woman.
• Prepare food in large amounts. Set aside some in the refrigerator or freezer for later use. For instance, prepare enough for Sunday dinner so that there are planned leftovers for another meal or two. (Some people refer to such food as “planned-overs.”)
• Plan to have on hand eight meals in the freezer or pantry that you can put on the table in thirty minutes. This way, you know you can sit down to a good dinner at least two different weeknights each week during the month.  

Be with your children even in your absence. A mother need not always be at home in order to be in the home.

• Phone home often.
• Leave love notes in the kitchen or family room, on your children’s beds, or taped to their bathroom mirror.
• Text and email them as needed.
• Place treats and other surprises in strategic spots from time to time.  “After school snacks” are especially appreciated by children when they come home to an empty house. 

Make time for your family and for fun. 

• Take advantage of any flexibility your employer might offer to work during your lunch hour and leave an hour earlier each day. If possible, arrange to come in an hour early every day so that Fridays can be half days.
• Make sure that Saturdays are not just for house and yard cleaning chores. Set some time aside each week for a fun activity with family members.
• Multi-task where possible. Use a headset or some other device so you can work with your hands while talking on the phone. Consider multi-tasking in order to spend one-on-one-time with a child such as including him as you run an errand, or suggest that a child work with you in the kitchen or laundry room. 

Accept help from others.

• Encourage your husband’s cooperation and assistance and invite your children to help carry the workload. (See this website for “Twenty Tips for Teaching Children to Work,” “Motivating Teens to Help at Home,” and “Age-appropriate Chores.”
• Graciously accept offers to help, particularly if you’re a single mom, from extended family members, priesthood quorums, and Relief Society members. 

Focus on the positive.

• As you retire each night, think about what you have done, rather than what you have not done. Rejoice in your success and accomplishments, even the little ones. Allow yourself to enjoy a sense of satisfaction. 
• Encourage yourself by setting out a vase of fresh flowers or a holiday decoration, or by serving dinner on colorful place mats or doing whatever it is that might give you hope and peace.  
• Energize yourself by having at least one area (closet , cupboard, desk top, or room) that is neat and orderly and thereby experience a surge of motivation and a sense of hope for more to follow. The old adage is true, “Nothing succeeds like success.”
• Keep a gratitude or miracle journal. Record the tender mercies in your life, acknowledging the hand of the Lord in the blessing.  The more you look for miracles, big or little, the more you will see them.  Someday you’ll come to realize that YOU are the miracle.

Be of good cheer. Feelings of discouragement, resentment, anger, or self-pity sap your strength; being of good cheer enhances it.  Someone aptly said, “It’s not the mountains ahead, but the sand in our shoes that make the trek difficult.” The Savior admonished us by saying, “In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” John 16:33.  “Being of good cheer is being valiant in the testimony of Jesus Christ.” (Elder Neal A. Maxwell)

Do the very best you can.

Remember the words of President Gordon B. Hinckley:

“I recognize . . . that there are some women (and it has become very many in fact) who have to work to provide for the needs of their families. To you I say, do the very best you can.”

And then, with heartfelt understanding, he further advised,

“It is well-nigh impossible to be a full-time homemaker and a full-time employee. I know how some of you struggle with decisions concerning this matter. I repeat, do the very best you can. You know your circumstances, and I know that you are deeply concerned for the welfare of your children.”

Then President Hinckley concluded with this tribute to all the women of the Church:

“And so, my beloved sisters, please know how much we appreciate you. You bring a measure of wholeness to us. You have great strength . . . I bear testimony before the entire world of your worth, of your grace and goodness, of your remarkable abilities and tremendous contributions, and invoke the blessings of heaven upon you.” (“To the Women of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1996, 69-70.)