Q: Our first child will soon be turning a year old. We're wondering what you would advise as to how many and what kinds of toys we should purchase for him at his current age and beyond. We would also appreciate some tips on the care and keeping of toys.  

Daryl: This is an important question. There is a definite trend in the toy business lately of “Down Aging” or the Incredible Shrinking Toy Consumer. This means that children at younger and younger ages are forsaking traditional toys for computers, electronic games, and so forth. Where children didn't used to turn to these types of entertainment until their teenage years, now they are doing so as young as 7 or 8. However, traditional toys are still strong. Following are some guidelines for your consideration:

1. Select toys carefully.
   
   • Toys should be safe. Read labels carefully and exercise your own good judgment in selecting toys. Look for labels that say the toy conforms to ASTM requirements. Make certain that anything for, or attractive to, young children is not a choking hazard.. In other words, all pieces and parts must be securely fastened to the product and cannot be pulled off by curious little fingers.
   • Toys should be age-appropriate — not too easy, not too difficult. Recommended ages are printed on the label.
   • Toys should be well constructed and durable. It's discouraging to a child to have a toy break or fall apart after the first use or two, especially if it's being used appropriately.
   • Invest in both “inside” and “outside” toys, according to your climate.
2. Focus on toys that are 10% toy and 90% child. In other words, toys should be educational and encourage creative, imaginative play.
   
   • For example, a little mechanical toy that runs around in circles will hold a child's attention for a few minutes, whereas a bag of blocks that allows the child to “construct” something will entertain him or her much longer. Generally, a toy that turns on and makes noise soon bores the child and is annoying to the parents.
   • Typically a child this age will disregard a toy and just play with the box it came in. So, just give him boxes!
   • Balls, books, and puzzles are staples for children's play.
   • Children love such things as a set of measuring cups for water play or a little pail and shovel for sand play.
   • Children enjoy a set of dishes for play dinners so they can “serve” family members or their teddy bears and dolls.
   • A box of dress-up clothes or some puppets with an improvised stage are all-time favorites for children.
3. Beware of toys that destroy children's values or lower their standards. This is more important in today's word than ever before. A parent must know what the children are reading, seeing, hearing, and playing with.
   
   • I wouldn't recommend buying for your children any doll or action figure that is wearing fashions you wouldn't want them to imitate.
   • I wouldn't recommend buying for your children any sort of video game that glorifies violence and bloodshed.
4. Remember: With toys, less is usually more. Even in a room full of toys, children usually play with the same three or four favorite ones.
   
   • Too many toys confuse and frustrate children. Surplus toys should be given away or put away.
   • It's smart to rotate toys so that the toys are “new” every few weeks.
   • Keep toys “dejunked.” Toys that are broken should be repaired or discarded. A broken toy encourages more toys to become broken. (See “The Broken Theory,” The Ultimate Career, p. 7)
   • Not every unused toy needs to be discarded — allow a few toys to just serve as decorative items to help make the playroom look inviting, colorful and fun.
5. Teach “picking up is part of play.” Play is life in miniature for children. Take advantage of opportunities to instill habits and teach skills that will be useful to them throughout their lives. It's through toys that they can first learn to respect things (which leads to respect for people and ideals) and to be good stewards over their possessions.
   
   • Every toy needs a “home.” In other words, there should be a place for every toy and every toy should be in its place at the end of the play period. Children relate easily to the concept of “home,” realizing it's a place where a toy can be safe. Then, when they want to play with it again, they know where to find it.
   • Work with young children when picking up toys. Don't just give orders. Be careful not to overwhelm them with more than they are capable of doing. A young child picks up about as many toys as he is old, so don't expect too much too soon. Without parental involvement an average two-year-old picks up about two toys and then forgets what he's doing. Even worse, he may empty the container instead of filling it.
   • Be positive in your discipline. Try to catch a child “doing it right,” and then reinforce the desired behavior with praise and encouragement.
   • Provide incentives for picking up the toys. For instance, you might say, “When the toys are picked up and you're ready for bed, I'll read you a story.” Or, “You may choose a favorite toy to sleep with you.”
   • Allow natural consequences that teach children. Toys that are not picked up can be put temporarily in the “unwanted” toy closet until they can be redeemed by a child who demonstrates his ability to better care for them. Outdoor toys such as tricycles and wagons that are not put away are subject to getting a “ticket” for a “parking violation” with the owner receiving a “fine” of some sort.
6. Set children up for success. Make picking up toys easy for them.
   
   • Provide appropriate storage areas or containers (“homes”) for the toys. It's best to put toys with many pieces and parts in individual containers. When they're put in a large toy box, they get so mixed up that children seldom have the patience to sort them out and so the toys turn into a scramble of “junk.”
   • Homemade fabric toy bags, tied securely with a cord that only an adult can untie, prevent a child from “dumping” the toys. (See illustration, The Ultimate Career, p. 20)
   • Spread a sheet or quilt on the floor when a child plays with Legos or other toys that have many small parts. At the end of the play period, the sheet can be quickly rolled up and the pieces easily returned to their container.
7. Don't overreact to toys scattered about the house. Having said all the above, keep in mind that toys strewn about are not necessarily a sign of neglect (unless the child has grown up!). Instead they can be evidence of progress because children are at play which is a wonderful activity in and of itself. Ideally, they are learning to work because for children play is work. They are learning to share and get along with other children and they are learning to have wholesome fun in life. As mentioned above, play is life in miniature for children. Fortunate is the child who can enjoy long hours at play.

                                    -- Daryl